Or do we just know what we want? I had a friend tell me recently about a blind date she was set up on. She mentioned the guy, told me a few traits about him, showed me his facebook picture etc. Overall you could tell that she just was not looking forward to this date at all, but was going to go through with it basically out of guilt or some duty she felt made her obligated to. She went on the date, and it appears as though this story will be ending there. It just didn’t work out. She left the date just as uninterested in him as she had been before she met him, if not more. She was told she was being too picky and judgmental.
But was she? Is this really being “too picky?” I’ve been told the same thing. I’ve had friends pull up guys on facebook and say they should set me up with them. I’ve perused their page for a minute or so and then given them a resounding no. The words “you’re being too picky” or “you’re so judgmental” almost always immediately follow. I just know what I like, and what I don’t. Is that really so wrong? Should I be going out with these guys that I can tell aren’t going to be a good fit just to avoid being labeled as picky and judgmental? Is that somehow better? I have things to do. I have a job. I go to school. And on these weird and rare occasions, I like to hangout with people I’m already positive I like. I call them my friends.
I guess I also don’t mind being single. Sure, sometimes its lonely, and I’ll think for a minute that it would be nice to have another person in my life. Then, the next day I’ll be glad I don’t. I’m just fine with waiting for it to happen. There’s no need to try and force myself to like someone that I just am not attracted to physically or mentally, and I can usually make up my mind on a person based on their facebook profile. I find this whole thing especially funny now that online dating is so common. Thats basically what it is. You create a profile and then go and scour other people’s profiles to see if you like 1.) the way the look, 2.) their interests, and 3.) the way their personalities come across on your screen. I don’t really see anyone having a problem with this. If you don’t like a person, you just don’t message them or “like” them or whatever else it is you’re supposed to do on these sites. You move on. No one is hurt. No one is bothered. No one cares. Next profile. Isn’t that basically what we’re doing when someone tries to set us up on a blind date and we give them a couple minute once over and then say no? I just personally don’t think that I (or anyone else) am being too picky or judgmental. I just know what I want and haven’t found it yet. That shouldn’t be a problem.
One of my close friends was also recently set up on a blind date and shared a very similar story. She also wasn’t looking forward to the date and didn’t have high hopes going into it. If I were in her shoes, I would have probably gone into the date with a more open mind and not expecting the worst right off the bat (because sometimes that will just set yourself up for disaster and an uncomfortable evening).
I’ve received the ‘you’re being too picky’ line too. Like you, I know what I like/dislike – especially from having gone on several dates (I blog about). There is nothing wrong with that. Yeah it can be lonely and frustrating at times but I definitely have hope that the guy I’m meant to be with will enter my life when I probably least expect it. I’m sure the same will happen for you too!